Bankers smell your money, but they haven’t yet convinced you to give it to them. All those internet phishing scam stories are scaring you off.

As if that’s not bad enough, you refuse to hang all their security fobs around your neck. You won’t do the fingerprint or retina scans. You reject the special keyboards. You can’t remember:

  • your unique user name and password;
  • the answer to the secret question;
  • which special image you selected.

And even when you willingly comply, trojans infesting your computer can log your keystrokes or otherwise pervert the interaction between you and TheBank. The best security on Earth can be undone by poor user maintenance.

So how can TheBank get you to take proper care of your system, so TheBank can build a security system you can trust enough to give TheBank your money?

Simple. Shoot the toasters.

In lieu of a toaster, TheBank can give you free firewall and anti-virus updates for each of your computers. If TheBank’s feeling frisky, it can add a security logo that flashes only when you’re on TheBank’s actual site. Each visit, TheBank can verify anti-virus updates and firewall settings, assuring a reasonable base-level of mutual security.

Beyond that, TheBank can heap on all the smart cards, fobs, dongles, retinal scans and memorization tricks you’re willing to tolerate… And your desire for free updates gives you a great reason to continue the courtship.

Think it can’t possibly work? Over 40% of those surveyed by YouGov felt their banks oughta reward them for securing their PCs… an attitude they come by honestly.

After all, folks get toasters when they make deposits.

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