In the 2002 Steven Spielberg movie, Minority Report, crimes are divined in advance, allowing cops to collar crooks before they commit a crime. Victims are saved in advance. Everyone lives happily ever after… except maybe the would-be crook.

Of course, that alone wouldn’t make a compelling story. Predictably, things go terribly wrong, pulling the pins right out from under our hero, Tom Cruise.

We haven’t come quite that far, but No Lie MRI claims it can zero-in on areas of the brain to reveal the actual birth of a lie… and it’s accurate 90% of the time.

We’ll finally find out where Jimmy Hoffa’s buried, if OJ did it, and whether or not prospective employees are going to turn Global Crossing on us.

In addition, No Lie officials expect to book $3600 per session grilling cheating spouses. No lie.

But running your philandering husband through the old lie-detector tunnel-o-fun is just asking for trouble. Even if he’s not cheating, he’s bound to have other secrets you don’t know and don’t want to know.

And prospective employers in search of an honest man will probably never find one. Show me a person with nothing to hide and I’ll show you, well, lots who do.

If these guys want to do the world some good, they’ll start with politicians, attorneys, reporters and clergy… then dig their way out from there.