The other day, I received a personal note from Meg Whitman, CEO of eBay. She thoughtfully entitled it Net Neutrality and the eBay Community: A Call to Action:

As you know, I almost never reach out to you personally with a request to get involved in a debate in the U.S. Congress. However, today I feel I must.

Right now, the telephone and cable companies in control of Internet access are trying to use their enormous political muscle to dramatically change the Internet. It might be hard to believe, but lawmakers in Washington are seriously debating whether consumers should be free to use the Internet as they want in the future.

The phone and cable companies now control more than 95% of all Internet access. These large corporations are spending millions of dollars to promote legislation that would allow them to divide the Internet into a two-tiered system.

The top tier would be a “Pay-to-Play” high-speed toll-road restricted to only the largest companies that can afford to pay high fees for preferential access to the Net.

The bottom tier — the slow lane — would be what is left for everyone else. If the fast lane is the information “super-highway,” the slow lane will operate more like a dirt road.

Today’s Internet is an incredible open marketplace for goods, services, information and ideas. We can’t give that up. A two-lane system will restrict innovation because start-ups and small companies — the companies that can’t afford the high fees — will be unable to succeed, and we’ll lose out on the jobs, creativity and inspiration that come with them.

The power belongs with Internet users, not the big phone and cable companies. Let’s use that power to send as many messages as possible to our elected officials in Washington. Please join me by clicking here right now to send a message to your representatives in Congress before it is too late. You can make the difference.

I dutifully typed my thoughts and hit [Reply]. For some reason, a message came back from Meg’s server that said: “Thank you for your response. Please don’t reply to this message - it is an automated response and your reply will not be received.”

Lest Meg think I don’t care enough about her worries to respond, I’m posting my letter. As I’m sure she’s one of my most faithful readers, she can soak it up right here in Email Battles.

Please. If you are not Meg Whitman of eBay, stop reading now. This is personal.

Hi Meg.
You forgot to mention the millions eBay, Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, et al, are forking out to buy politicians for net neutrality. No matter.

Try as I might, I am really not sympathetic to the plight of a pack of spoiled zillionaires fighting another pack of spoiled zillionaires over who gets to chew on my bones.

If your cause is just, you can get the laws changed… once we see convincing evidence of abuse.

Until then, I would like to see the government keep its nose out of the Internet altogether. You see, Meg, unlike you, I think that once the government starts making new rules for the Internet it won’t be able to stop itself. First in line… the legislative Luddites’ favorite: sales tax. And it will go downhill from there.

Nope. It’s better to let the backboners try screwing things up themselves. If they overreach, they’ll trigger public outrage, followed by state and federal regs, followed by class action and trust-busting lawsuits. After all, that’s the American Way.

Moving on… I need to broach the truly serious problem in our relationship, Meg. It’s about the way you use email.

If you really want to make the world a better place, Meg, you’ll stop sending HTML-formatted messages with embedded links. By constantly HTMLing folks, you train them to expect it from you, which in turn, makes it easy for phishers and other scammers to send rip offs of your official letters, loaded with hidden evil links.

When your new policy says “eBay sends only plain text messages without clickable links”… you’ll train eBayers to reject anything else, depriving evildoers of their easiest trick.

That’s not too much to ask, is it Meg?

Oh. One last thing…

I’m up for brunch at the Red Crow on Sunday, as long as you promise to stop abusing our relationship by spamming me with your political causes.

See you Sunday,
BJ

That Meg. She can be so pushy.