Email is like a postcard. Everyone along the line can see it, share it and save it. It sticks around on your system and the recipient’s. Even worse, your receiver can forward your private message to lots of people you don’t even know. It can even be made public.

At the end of its investigation of the 2000-2001 Western Energy Crisis, the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission released its database consisting of 92% of Enron’s staff emails. Why? Who knows? The point is, these could be your missives being published.

These messages culled from Andrew Fiore’s searchable archive of Enron’s email database remind us all that, no matter where you go or what you do, your email is forever.

We don’t recommend that you read the Enron messages we link to here. We provide the links as proof that highly paid executives actually sent this stuff. Importantly, names of senders are on the messages.

Before hiring anyone from Enron or its vendors, you may want to check this database. You’ll know your potential employee at a level most spouses never achieve.

Bathroom Humor
  • Survival Guide: Copy promises that, if you memorize these definitions, defecating at work “will become a pure pleasure: escapee, jailbreak (used in conjunction with escapee), courtesy flush, walk of shame, safe haven, camo-cough, Astaire, watermelon, Havana omelet, Uncle Ted, fly by, and more.

Sex Humor
  • Bad Barbies: Author writes, “You probably thought you’d seen them all. Well, boy, were you wrong! With the new millennium fast approaching, Barbie’s here to prove yet again that she’s very capable at keeping pace with these ever-changing times. Below are ten brand new Barbie dolls that are currently under development.” Oh boy.
  • Booty Call Agreement: A contract for disinterested interactions between amoral consenting adults.
  • Chick Poem: Author says, “Now, you must forward this to 4 females or you will have a horrible streak of bad love life. Not that I believe the above, I just think you should forward this to 4 women so they can laugh too!!!”
  • Etiquette For Men, From Women: Fifteen expressive rules surrounding the performance of a specific act. Rule Number One: “First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.”
  • Hillary & Janet: Tasteless joke about former occupants of the White House and the US Attorney General of the time.
  • Interesting facts, Hmmmm: Innocuous factoids blended with the usual sexually explicit stuff and wise cracks. A safe example: “Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you’re ambidextrous do you split the difference?)”
  • Perfect day for a woman and a man: Plays to stereotypes. Female: gentle self-indulgence, cattiness. Male: sex, gluttony, sex, sports, sex, gluttony and sex.

Mean or Stupid
  • Bad Santa: Nasty letters from Santa. Here’s a tame one: Dear Santa, Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica. Dear Jessica, You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I’m skipping your house. Santa
  • Sorry to send this but i am supersticious: A chain letter forwarded by a highly paid licensed attorney who, in addition to superstition, seems to have a spelling challenge.

Sickeningly Perverse
  • You didn’t get this from me: Proof that hiring people based on test scores is no assurance that you can weed out the sickos. Do not read if you have any sense of human decency.

As you noticed, many of the messages are simply forwarded by the senders.

Is forwarding a raunchy message the same as authoring it? Probably depends on the sender’s intent. Most recipients of forwarded messages assume that the sender agrees with the contents, unless comments to the contrary have been appended.

As for you… If you want to make a damned fool of yourself too, get it over with. Start a blog.